"The Truth is Something That Can Hurt You..."

Hi everybody!

Back with Sonya here in my little homepage~

I usually talk about something happy and excited to you rite?

But today, I'm just gonna pour something I want to shout out by I can't, here..

"I can't deny it even if I want to.."

Guys, now I just feel like a bullet exactly in my heart..

I already know this all the time..

I know if she (X) is still can't be removed fully from his heart..

I still have to compete to win his heart..

I am still at unsafe position in his heart..

I know he already ask me to believe him..

But, everyone knew that you can't forget someone you ever loved for several years,

and try to love someone you just met her once, rite?

Even if I am with you now..

But, why I still think that I am noone to him?

All this time, I have this thought..

And, I never have any courage to ask him..

I just afraid..

Afraid that someone I already love is gone..

Afraid that I would get hurt by the feelling..

The feeling when you are one sided love..

Afraid that I am the only one who love him~

It's not easy to always be a cheerfull girl when you have a problems inside..

I want to deny that I'm still okay when he said he still can't forget her..

I don't want to be a childish girl..

But, I'm really not okay..

It's really hurt..

It feels like a knife stabbed right in my heart~

"Am I just a substitude?"

It is a question that I wanna ask him..

But, I am really have no courage to even say it..

I think my self confidence is going down slowly when I am thinking about it..

I don't like it if he just want me to be a substitude to fill something empty when he brook up with his X..

I know it is too fast..

I met him when he just brook up with his X..

It's really hurt me when I must hear he talk something related to his X..

I'm just me! I don't want to be other..

I know he is a nice person, really..

He always do the best for me..

This is just the only problem..

He still remember all the things with his X..

I like to be with him all this time..

But, I still in doubt that he can erase all the memories with her~

I hope time will really help him to do that..

I am really lack in many things..

But, I hope this time I will do my best to be a greatest one for him..

 To not disappoint him as his girlfriend now..

I am not perfect, I am not someone like her, and I wouldn't be her..

I will wait until the time is come..

When he already accept me fully as his girlfriend..

"Thanks that you always saying the truth to me..

I know it's better to say something hurt you with the truth,

than something make you happy but just a lie..

I'm sorry that I can't be with you when you need me~

We are really far far away, but I hope our heart will still connected each other~

I will always trust you..

I appreciate that you always be an open-minded boyfie to me, trust me, support me..

And I don't want you to change who you are..

I just need you to love me and never leave me..

No matter what, I just want to be your last and make you happy.."

I'm really desperate when I writting this..

Cuz I don't know how to pour this out and tired to always keep it inside my heart

..

I can never tell this directly..

I just can write it to make me feel ease..

Thank you for reading my post guys..

Even maybe this is nothing to you,

but this message is really something I feel deep down in my heart and be a burden to me..

I think I need to share it and hope that someday he will read it,

and know what I'm feeling right now~

Maybe, in every relationship there is a thing you never hope it to come out..

How about your story guys?

Do you ever feel something like me?

I hope not..

Okay, see you in the other post guys

~ Love, Sonya ~